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SPECIAL MENTION 5

Strange Feelings

(NOTE:  The following is the fourth of four tales sent in by latoya.  the other 3 are titled Scared Witless, Babysitting Spooks, and The Graveyard House...) 

The following experiences aren’t my normal ghostly stories.  This is more of psychological, about having a bad feeling, and bad things happening.

When I was seven or eight years old in 1986 in a Paulsboro, small town in New Jersey, I started having what I guess you would call premonitions.  I don’t have them very often, but every now and then I do.

I was anxious as always for my mom to get home from work.  I hated my babysitter at the time, and just couldn’t wait to be rid of her.  I wasn’t a child that was aware of time in the sense of looking at a clock, or by the sun setting.  So, when the sun began to set this particular evening, my worries didn’t begin just because I thought it was getting late.  I stayed in the window, looking in the direction I knew my mom would be walking in, but as time wore on, I only begin to half expect her.  I was very worried.  I had a horrible ache in my chest, and I kept thinking and having the feeling that something awful happened to my mother.  As a child, I often had bad dreams about my mom not coming home, or not being able to find her. I felt as if I were in one of my dreams. 

Even though it wasn’t that late, and it was possible my mom had just gone to the store, I started to cry.  When my babysitter yelled, I insisted that my mom wasn’t going to come home, that something had happened.  My mom had come home late many times before, but this time just FELT different.  I eventually stopped crying.  But then a little while later, when I heard an ambulance in the distance, I was convinced it was for my mom.  I began crying again.  My babysitter convinced me to leave my place at the window, and I became preoccupied with the television. 

Sometime later, a knock sounded at the door.  When I opened it, and found a police officer standing there, I began to cry once again.  He had come to tell my brother, our sitter and myself that my mom had been hit by a car.  As it turned out, my mom was going to be okay, but the fact is, I knew something had been wrong, even at such a young age.

When I was fifteen years old, on a warm February night, my boyfriend was driving me to where I was staying from his house.  At the time, I was temporarily living with my old next-door neighbor, my mom and brother were living with my stepfather.  We were supposed to be moving into a new apartment in the near future.  Before we could get out of his long driveway, I suddenly felt as if my heart had been ripped out, and as if someone had punched me in the stomach.  I had my first ever anxiety attack.  I told my boyfriend that I was convinced that I was going to die that night.  I didn’t know how or when, but I honestly believed my life was going to end that night.  I couldn’t quiet explain it.  I didn’t cry, I only accepted the fact that something was going to happen, and there was nothing I could do about it.  All I could do was wait.

When I got to my neighbors apartment, it was already after eleven.  I stayed up with her young daughter, because she thought it was cool to stay up late with an older girl, and because I couldn’t sleep if I wanted to.  I was just waiting for the bomb to drop. 

Around one a.m., I was suddenly hit again with another anxiety attack.  It was fifteen minutes before it subsided.  During those fifteen minutes, I heard an ambulance go down a nearby street.  I suddenly realized that it wasn’t me who was going to die, but someone close to me.  Again, all I could do was wait.

Around two thirty a.m., the telephone rang.  I didn’t want to hear any bad news, so I turned the ringer off.  My neighbor came downstairs a little while later.  She asked about the phone ringing, and I told her I turned the ringer off.  She said it could be her mother, and that we should turn it back on.  The second the button clicked on the phone was ringing.  My neighbor answered it.  It was another neighbor.  Karen looked worried at first, but then she turned a very pale shade of white.  “What do you mean NOT with us?”  She asked disbelieving.  Right away, I knew it concerned my mom.  A moment later, her hand flew to her mouth, and she was having trouble keeping herself together.  She hung up the phone a few minutes later and turned to me. 

“Your mom was sick,”  She had started.  But I didn’t want to hear the words.  Instead, I just smiled and said “Yeah,”  With a shrug.  My hands began to shake, and I was having a hard time speaking, but somehow I managed to call my friend who only lived right down the street.  He was there in less than five minutes.  I couldn’t get my word straight on the phone with him. I could only say “I can’t find her.  I can’t find her anywhere.”  I finally had to say “I think she’s dead.”
 

Later that night, I had to once again face a police officer.  This time my mom wasn’t going to be okay, but I didn’t let him say it.  I just turned and walked away from him.  See, I was prepared for something
devastating to happen.  I didn’t even cry, but you’re never too prepared for someone close to you passing away.  But the point is, I knew it was coming, I had felt it coming.  Literally. 

Nothing that devastating has happened since then, but I still get vibes about people I’m close to.  I can know someone is sickly, lying, or in some kind of trouble, but fortunately, my bad feelings don’t come too often.  Besides, I think I’d rather just be surprised...
 

-latoya.


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