JAN'S TALES
Hebrews 13:2
Back in the Fall of 1979 on
the South Side of town in St. Louis, Missouri, an extraordinary event occurred
with myself as the participant. It was early morning and I was rushing around
the house trying to get ready for work. I would check my watch every minute or
so, keeping in mind how much time I had before I had to be at the bus stop. At
eighteen years old the thoughts in my head were running rampant as there were
two dozens different priorities going on every day, as it was in most young
girls lives. Single, on my own, fresh out of high school, trying to make ends
meet and still trying to decide in which direction my path in life should take
me. After throwing on a light sweater I rushed outside, up the sidewalk a
block, crossed through the paved lot of a Sinclair gas station, waved at the
attendant then jogged up to Broadway, a very busy 4-lane avenue. The bus stop
that I needed was across these 4 lanes. Breathing heavy I checked my watch
again, right on time, ‘Thank God’ I thought to myself, ‘I can’t loose this
job.’ I saw a chance to cross, if I ran fast enough to the other side, and took
it. After regaining my composure, I looked up to see the bus coming about a half
a mile away so I begun digging in my purse to get out the exact change. A gruff
cough, like someone clearing a very agitated throat startled me as the sound was
very close and I was unaware that someone else was standing at the bus stop
along side me. He seemed to have come out of no where because I hadn’t noticed
anyone else up or down the street walking in my direction as I was hurrying
towards the empty bus stop just a few seconds before. There was nothing but bare
sidewalks in both directions and an almost empty grocery store parking lot
behind the stop. Then everything began happening so quickly; he stepped off the
sidewalk and onto the street into on-coming traffic. Alarm arose within my
heart and my reflexes took over as my arms shot out to bring him back to the
curb, back to safety with a deliberate jerk. That’s when I saw his white cane
lift upward into the air as I was pulling him backwards. I must have startled
him as much as he had startled me. The cane found the concrete in front of him
as he fought gently to regain his balance. Apologizing, I explained that there
was too much traffic at this location and that the nearest crosswalk was about 8
blocks back up north, the opposite way he was traveling on foot.
“I’m not going that way, I
need to cross here.” He quietly said while he adjusted his thick heavy
sunglasses back up on his nose. “Who needed sunglasses on such a cloudy
morning?” I thought to myself then saw a mere glimpse of his vacant gray-white
eyes and then the meaning of the white cane hit me, he was blind. The sound of
the heavy morning traffic seemed louder then usual at that moment, almost like I
was listening to a recording with headphones on and the volume was turned up
full blast. Blood rushed to my head, making me dizzy all of a sudden and I felt
myself swoon slightly. Unsure of my balance I gripped the man’s arm with a bit
more pressure. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as I turned my head to
one side and that’s when I saw my bus slowing to come to a stop to pick me up.
A hundred thoughts went through my mind at a frightful pace, with my conscience
fighting back with every negative suggestion my mortal brain was coming up
with. “You’re going to be late!!…. Help the man across!…There
won’t be another bus for 15 minutes!…How can you leave this blind man
alone and helpless?…Tell him you’re sorry but you have to go!…What’s
more important right at this moment?…You’ll be sorry!…You will be
sorry…You’ll loose your job!…But look at what you might gain?
Anyway, quit being silly, you won’t loose your job…You’ll get wrote up
then!”
The bus was almost at a full
stop and the bi-fold door was opening up. Through my hazy migraine eyes I
noticed that it wasn’t the regular driver. I raised my hand and waved him on
by, shaking my head no, and motioned for him to go on, and not to stop. The
driver closed the door, picked up the bus’s speed, waved and went on down
Broadway. I turned to the blind man, who seemed to be around fifty years old,
his silver gray hair combed neatly under a brown felt fedora. His black
overcoat was kitten soft under my hand that still held his arm above his elbow.
“I’ll see you safely across sir.” I said slowly and immediately the headache
went away, the noise died down and the street was almost vacant of cars and
trucks. I’ll never forget the tapping sound his cane made as we walked across
the four lanes with little effort to the sidewalk that bordered the Sinclair
station. “Do you need any other assistance? Do I need to point you in the
right direction?” My voice was compassionate and steady.
“No, young lady, I will be
fine now, Thank you, and,” he replied with a haunting smile, “…God bless you.”
With those last words he laid his left hand on my shoulder, patted it, then
turned away and began walking down the sidewalk, the cane in his right hand,
moving left and right in a easy rhythm. A crisp wind began blowing making the
back of his overcoat flip around his legs and I watched while his left hand went
up to catch his hat that was trying to fly away. “God bless you too…” I
whispered aloud then turned to walk back across the street, which was still
sparingly being used by vehicles at that moment. Even though uneasiness
enveloped me, knowing I would be late for work, a strange satisfaction comforted
my heart. Halfway across the road I glanced back once more to see the man. He
wasn’t going up the block where I left him and he wasn’t going in the opposite
direction either. Nor was he in the filling station lot or beyond. The
sidewalks were all clear of pedestrians. I stood stunned on the two yellow
lines that divided the lanes, looking all around for him. It was if he had
vanished. A trucks horn brought me back to my senses, startling me to whip
around and continue across the street. As soon as I reached the other side
another bus was coming down the street but I knew it was too early for the next
route so I sat down on the bench to wait another 15 or 20 minutes. Numerous
buses passed by in the morning very close together as the terminal was not far
from there and many of them were going back in to clock out, their shifts
finished. I was barely seated when the bus slowed down and came to a stop, the
doors opened and there was my regular bus driver! “Miss the bus today Jan?” He
said laughing, “Come on, hop aboard, I’ll drop you off at work.” He explained,
as I found the first seat, noticing all the other seats were vacant, that he was
finishing up someone else’s shift and on his way in to the terminal. He had
traded with some guy for the day. What a delightful coincidence it had been and
I made it to work right on time.
Later in the afternoon after
getting off the bus at the Sinclair station and walking through the lot towards
home, the attendant at the filling station hollered at me. He was servicing a
woman’s car while it was filling up with gas. “Did you forget something this
morning, Jan?” He said while using a squeegee to clean the car’s windshield,
then continued, “I saw you come back across the street this morning after
flagging your bus on by.” I walked a little closer to him watching while he was
rubbing the glass with a blue paper towel. We chatted a bit on some days so
this was nothing to stop and talk awhile. (Note: I really can’t recall his name
but I’m wanting to say it was ‘John’, but not quite sure.)
“No, I didn’t forget anything,
I was helping that man across the street. He was blind.”
He looked up bewildered,
squinted his eyebrows together, smiled uneasy and asked, “What man?”
“The one I was walking with
this morning, the one I helped across the street. He had a brown hat on, black
overcoat, white cane…” He didn’t let me finish and interrupted with a hearty
laugh, “Girl, you’re loosing it! You were alone. There wasn’t any man with
you.” The gas pump was dinging every time it passed the 10-cent mark and I
found myself clinking together some coins in my pocket to match its musical
pattern. Confusion began mixing in with my emotions. ‘He didn’t see anyone
with me this morning? No one?’ I thought to myself.
The pump handle signaled a
full tank and the attendant went around to finish tapping it off. He completed
his business transaction with the woman and she drove off with him waving
goodbye. Turning towards me now, putting his bills all in order, he added, “You
just looked like you had forgot something and was on your way back home for a
minute to get it, then you changed your mind and went back across the street.”
His eyes found mine and there was concern in them. He was being sincere. Our
eyes locked for a moment, then nervously I let mine wander sideways and then
downwards, not really understanding what I was hearing from this witness.
“You ok?” He asked, tilting
his face down to look up at my own.
“Yeah.” Came out softly, then
I added, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m alright. I was thinking of somewhere else…been
a weird day today and I’ve got a headache.” I nodded my head up and down
several times, raised my eyebrows, smiled and said goodbye as I turned and
walked away. “See ya tomorrow, take care.” He called after me.
“You too, bye now.” I
replied then trotted home, hoping he didn’t think I was a nut ball.
My grandma owned the duplex I
stayed in. She lived on one side, my aunt in the other and I rented a room in
the basement of my aunt’s side. Before going to my side, I stopped by and
visited with ‘Gams’ (My nick name for her.) and told her the whole story of
events that had happened that day. Nothing made much sense as the tale unfolded
but I wasn’t afraid of her criticism, I was seeking some form of consolation
that I wasn’t going mad or ‘loosing it’. She listened intently until it was
finished, patted my folded nervous hands and reached for her eyeglasses and then
the bible she always had in the windowsill by her recliner. It took her a few
moments of sifting through different chapters and pages and scanning verses but
she finally came to rest in the book of Hebrews.
“Hebrews, chapter 13, verse
2,” she began, gazing down through her spectacles, then recited the verse, “Do
not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained
angels without knowing it.” She turned the book around to let me read the
passage, pointing at it with a red manicured fingernail, and looking at me over
the top of those glasses.
“Do you think it could have
really been an angel, Gams? Why do you think he came to me of all people?” I
inquired softly with a hint of unbelievably in my voice.
“God tests us in many ways,
Jan, and if you think about it just look at what you learned from what happened
this morning.”
And she was right. That
morning taught me many things that would come again and test me in the years to
come. The foremost lesson was trying not to be self centered or selfish, and to
think of others first. There have been numerous times since then that strangers
have crossed my path, and I’ve learned to trust my instincts; to listen to that
inner voice of wisdom for guidance. Not all strangers have honest intents, nor
or they to be considered ‘angels in disguise’. You must use your own judgment
in how you will assist someone who is in need of some help. Just be more aware
of the situation at hand before you make a rash decision. You just never know
when you may have encountered an angel.
-Jan Thompson.