HARD TO
EXPLAIN TALES 10
Suppressed Fear?
and Other Tales
This is by far, not a ghost story, or anything of that nature. But it is
indescribable. I experienced a form of night terrors as a child...but was
never actually diagnosed. I didn't ever see a doctor. I did see a few
psychiatrists though. After a few visits, they started calling what I had
"suppressed fear." Whatever that means. Personally, how can a two-year
old have suppressed anything...much less fear? You
don't even know what that feeling is yet at that young
age. Let alone to have it suppressed. But anyway, my
experiences weren't sufficient enough to be diagnosed. What
happened to me was a little "iffy" compared to night terrors. Night
Terrors are basically nightmares when you're awake.
The key subjects of these nightmares are usually
spiders, snakes, or "people". Or as most cases of
Night Terrors have documented. I witnessed a few things on occasion, but my
main thing was "feelings". And like Night Terrors, they're rampant as a
child....die down during puberty...and then kick back up again, strong as
ever (but rarely). I experienced these as a child, and later on as a
young adult, but only when I got all stressed out, or
worse, sick.
The first occurrence happened in a trailer my parents and I lived in, in
Orange, Texas. I was laying in bed with my father and he was reading me a
book. My mother was in the kitchen finishing the dishes. Now I was wide
awake, because I can still to this day, remember the pictures in the book
my dad was reading me. And at some point, I remember
looking at the book as he was reading,
then I just started
screaming bloody murder. My mother comes running at
full speed into the room and yanks me out of bed, thinking that my dad
had done "something" to me. She had to take me outside on the porch in
pitch darkness to get me to quit crying and calm down.
I was too young to know or remember what I was feeling at that moment.
All I know is that I began screaming.
Once after that, a year or so later, it happened again. Only now, we had
company. A few of my dad's friends had come over to watch a series of Old
Westerns on cable. My mom had their wives and girlfriends in the kitchen
playing cards. I was sitting dead center in the living room floor right
in front of the TV. I got up and walked over to my
dad's recliner and saw his beer sitting on the
in-table. He saw me staring at it and asked if I wanted
a sip. I nodded 'yes' obviously, and I heard him call to my mother "Hey,
Liz, look what Robin wants". She shook her head in disbelief, but
everyone thought it was funny. He handed it to me but
helped me along so I wouldn't spill it all down the
front of me. Now, I remember that! It was the nastiest
thing I'd ever tasted. (and still is to this day) But I stuck my tongue out
and made an 'ewww' face. My dad mocked me in that ole' Ernest "EWWWW"
wiggling his nose face. Remember that? I started laughing and turned
around to walk back to my seat on the floor. The
minute I plumped my rear-end back down, I started
screaming again. Just horrified. This time, my dad picked me
up and as he rushed me to the front door I heard him say "I never thought
this would happen again."
After that, all I had were dreams. But even now, I'm an extremely vivid
dreamer. Most of the time, I'll dream something, and it will happen
later. But not like a psychic sort of thing.
More along the lines of a Deja Vu. Like I'll dream of
a field...and having never seen it before, will end up
going to some barbecue with a friend. Come to find out, it's a piece of
property way out in the middle of nowhere, but I knew I'd been there
before. Worse...my dreams will continue after
I've awoken. I'll get up to go to the bathroom and be
in the middle of a dream. Even after climbing out of bed and
turning a light on, going to the bathroom, I'd be dreaming. And STILL it
continues after I've gotten back into bed and gone to sleep.
The first few dreams were of me in my room at the end of the trailer and I'd
see my mom's bathroom door at the end of the hall (the living room was
actually the next room at the end of the hall, my mom's bathroom was all
the way at the other end of the trailer). It was
closed, but the light was on and it glowed through the
cracks. I knew she was in there and I'd start running.
You know, it's the same old story. You're at the end of a long hall
and have to get to the door at the end. The minute you get within reach
of the doorknob, the hallway gets longer. Same story
here. But I had the overwhelming feeling that
something bad was going to happen. I was right. Four
days after the dream, my mom fell through a loose board in the new
porch my dad was building. She was 8 months pregnant with my sister Sara.
Luckily, they were both okay. And even though she was born a month early,
Sara was a whopping 8 1/2 pounds. Seems to me that she was ready to come
out then.
Later....much later, way after my parents got divorced and my dad remarried,
me and my step mom were both sick with the flu in the master
bedroom. She had gotten up to go take a shower
and I stayed in bed watching Fresh Prince Of Bel Air
on TV. Out of nowhere I started this horrendous coughing fit. I
thought I was going to choke. At the point of nearly suffocating, I
started crying and asked God to make it stop. As it
stopped, I looked up at the TV to catch my breath
when I saw it. A huge green blob...solid, not
transparent, literally blocking the TV show. It reminded me of a lava
lamp. The first thought that entered my mind was "something is wrong with
me...I need to go to the doctor."
Months later, I started getting these horrible cramps and they were so bad,
I couldn't eat, sleep, or walk. I would literally be in a ball of
writhing pain. I went to the doctor and they took
x-rays of my stomach. Turned out, I had intestinal
spasms. My intestines were tightening up around a few of my
major organs and then releasing....consistently. When you get tense, your
muscles in your stomach sometimes overreact and tighten up. Mine were
four times worse. They diagnosed me with
Endometriosis. The cramps I was getting are similar to
the first stages of labor.
I woke up consistently for 2 weeks at the exact same time: 4:15 am. The first
time it happened, I looked over at my clock and saw a tall black figure
standing over by my desk. It must've been around 7 feet tall. Just
looking at me. It scared the crap out of me so I took
a pillow and covered that side of my face. I still
believe that saying "If you can't see IT, IT can't see
you." The following nights, I'd wake up and know that thing was still there,
so I avoided looking in that direction. I'd still have to see my clock
but I'd take my pillow to block that side of the room.
My roommate woke up one night and saw it too. I'd been awake for an hour
or so the second to last night and heard her yell "Do
you mind?" Then she yelled "S**T"
and got up and ran to turn the light on. She told me that she
thought I had company because she heard a man talking to me. But when she
looked up and yelled the first time, she realized it wasn't a person.
The one time I remember anything about paranormal activity in my room was a
few months ago in my old room. We just recently moved because our
building was getting refurnished and recarpeted. It
had been a day off for me and I was sitting at my desk
studying. I got the impression for about 10 minutes
that someone was staring at me. It was almost like someone was leaning right
in my face and leering at me. The next thing I know, I hear my door
unlock and my roommate come in. She said "Hey guys,
how was work?" Then I heard a whole bunch of stuff to
fall to the floor. I turned around and all her books
were on the ground and she was covering her eyes. I asked her what was wrong
and she freaked. She said that the minute she walked in, she looked in my
direction and saw a young man in a sailor uniform leaning on my desk
looking at me as if we were talking. But when she
looked down to put her key into her wallet, she looked
up again and he was gone.
Just so you know, I live on
a navy base in Iceland.
-Unsigned.