I
think that I believed somewhat in ghosts and spirits growing up, but was never very aware
of them. In 1984 I was a 14 year old skeptic of scary things, religion, God, etc. So,
ghost stories really didn't just enter my mind - even after watching horror movies or
reading scary books. However, a winter night that year changed my mind forever.
For
months my two-year old sister, Sara, had been having nightmares. Her room was right next
to mine and connected by a rather thin door, so I could hear everything that she did. I
woke up many nights hearing her thrash and cry out. I knew that her dreams were not
normal. How many two-year olds living a happy, normal life have intense nightmares several
times a week? Quite often I would go in and comfort her after she woke up. Sometimes I
would bring her into my room to sleep with me, so that she wouldn't be scared.
I
began having occasional nightmares too. Most of them involved something or someone trying
to "get" Sara, and my trying to save her. Usually, the dreams involved a burglar
or baby kidnapper who was breaking into the house and trying to grab her or hurt her. In
the dreams, I would do everything I could to hide her, fight the thing, or get her out of
the house and away from whatever it was. Sometimes I would get hurt or die trying to do
so, but in the end, she was always OK.
Well,
these nightmares continued, side by side, with Sara's, for several months. Then they began
to get more frequent and intense, causing me to lose sleep and become somewhat anxious. I
didn't tell my parents about the dreams because I knew that it would upset them.
Particularly my mother, who is a somewhat psychic dreamer herself. She hates to hear about
bad dreams involving her loved ones because she thinks that they may come true. How could
I tell her that something was going after Sara in my dreams? Not only did I worry about my
mom's reaction, but I also felt kind of stupid for worrying about it.
Then,
I woke up one night from a particularly horrible dream about Sara. I laid in bed breathing
hard, with tears coursing down my face, and shaking - it was so real and so intense. I had
the door to Sara's room open that night, so that I could hear her. She was having a
nightmare too, thrashing and moaning. Suddenly, she woke up crying and called out for me.
I immediately got up and went to her crib. Without opening her eyes (she was still half
asleep) she lifted her little body toward me so that I could pick her up. As I leaned over
to do so, I felt a prickly sensation on the back of my neck and up my spine. I felt as if
I was being watched from a corner of her room that was opposite the door I had walked
through. I tried to "shake it off" and dismiss it as leftover nerves from the
nightmare I'd had. However, the feeling didn't leave me and I walked out of the room,
holding Sara, as quickly as possible.
I
climbed into bed and laid down with Sara, arranging her in a "snuggling" fashion
against my arm and chest. She seemed to calm down and begin to drift away when I felt
something come through the door from her room. At that second, I felt a crushing weight on
my entire body. I couldn't move or breath or make a noise. The only way I could describe
it is to imagine that an invisible two-ton truck is lying on top of you. I noticed, with
alarm, that Sara wasn't moving or breathing either, but I couldn't move to check on her.
The
presence kept moving into the room and stopped to hover about two feet from my bed. I
remember looking straight at the spot where it was (since my face was turned in
that
direction when it came into the room and I was "frozen" there) and not being
able to see a thing. However, I could see it in my mind. It is so hard to describe how I
could see what it was but not actually view it with my eyes. In my "mind's eye"
the presence resembled a grayish-black cloud that was somehow electric and alive. Almost
like one of the "swarms" made by special effects in a very bad B-movie. It had a
dark energy that I could perceive strongly, but it was not human or human-like. I felt it
curiously observing me without any particular sort of animosity - only that it was able to
paralyze us because it was there. I perceived that it was an entity with a purpose
directed toward my sister - to make her sick. I don't know what kind of sickness it
carried, or who from, or why. Only that it carried it and was trying to find a way
to get at her. It was a very "cold" and uncompassionate presence, like a mob
assassin who doesn't know his hit personally. I was scared to death. I felt totally
helpless to do anything to protect my sister from this electric sickness, or to protect
myself. We were both paralyzed and unable to breathe or cry for help.
But
then something happened. I grew angry. My anger grew and grew almost instantaneously, with
a force that I'd never encountered before or have since. I grew so psychically enraged
that I felt like my anger came from somewhere else, that it was superhuman. Because my
body couldn't move, my anger had nowhere to release itself but through my own mind. And it
did - right back toward the presence hovering near me and Sara. Somehow, all the anger of
the world funneled through my head and communicated itself to the force which sought to
bring sickness to my sister. It felt as though my head would explode.
Then,
suddenly, as quickly as it floated into my room, the presence floated back out. It was as
if the energy had felt my anger and went "whoa, I don't want a piece of that..."
and decided to leave. The thing just went back through the door toward my sister's room
and didn't come back. As soon as the presence hit the other side of the doorway the weight
was lifted off of me and Sara. Both of us filled our lungs with a simultaneous whoosh -
sounding like drowning swimmers gasping for air. We were able to move again, and Sara
began crying. I comforted her again until she fell back asleep, and then I laid awake -
listening - for several hours.
The
next day, I got up and placed a cross over Sara's crib and said several prayers in her
room to try and "cleanse" it. My parents, who were not particularly religious
people, thought that I was "cute" but didn't pay much attention to it. I also
kept a bible next to my bed for the entire remaining time that we lived in that house. My
nightmares stopped, and so did Sara's, although they started up again when she moved into
another bedroom with my other baby sister several months later. I was alarmed that she was
having bad dreams again, and checked on her regularly during the night. However, I didn't
feel the same presence that I had before, just something that seemed to be sort of
annoying. Sara never got sick with anything more than a bad virus when we lived in that
house, and hasn't since.
I've
never forgotten that night in 1984. I've never been able to find an adequate explanation
for it either. One person, who was very religious, told me that it was an evil spirit and
that I was Sara's spiritual mother and protector. He also told me that the anger that I'd
experienced is called "righteous anger" - the kind that comes with the help of
God. Some of this made sense since I'd always felt very connected to my sister in a very
deep way. However, over the years I've come to accept that there are all kinds of spirits
or energies, including some which bring bad illnesses or luck. I believe that what I
experienced was one of those "sick energies" and that I really did repel it with
helpful anger from somewhere. My family has since experienced a few more
"ghost/spirit" incidents, and continue to have an occasional insightful dream.
Whatever the medium, I pray that no one else has to experience the same type of black
energy/presence that me and my sister did that night.
-Unsigned-